I don't really remember much of my first time coming to the Giese Estate. I was so weak that my father had carried me there in his arms. The only thing I remember was how careful he was as if he thought I might break right then and there or vanish into a poof of smoke never to be seen again. I mean Kyrell. I keep forgetting that my father was a man's whose name I had forgotten to even ask. It wasn't that first trip that stuck in my mind. It was a thousand other memories engraved in my soul. I won't pretend for a moment it hadn't been home. Well, the home I wanted at any rate. I hand't actually been able to do more than visit my family in those days. But, I still remember it was the place I wanted to be.
Kyrell had actually gotten sick with the wasting sickness and as such was a part of my life only as much as his illness would allow. Those with the wasting sickness often lose their minds wandering around with thought as they slowly fade from the world. I believe he would have passed a lot sooner if he hadn't been waiting for something. Perhaps, to make sure that his kids were able to take care of themselves. It wouldn't have surprised me for a moment to learn he had stayed for Colden to make sure he was there to take care of him and honor his mother. There was never a question in anyone's mind how much he had loved Ansley.
No, it wasn't that day that I remembered as I slipped into my brother Kieran's room. It was another shortly after. A day that had found me at the Paxton estate. Kyrell had given me the estate after he had stripped my...Catalina of her rights as leader. So, it was there that with a staff hand picked by him I was too be raised. They were kind and unlike the staff that Catalina had they actually paid attention to me. However, I was so used to be alone that I actually sought out the solitude at the same time as I hated it. I didn't want to be with these people I wanted to be with my real family no matter what the cost. Funny how I fought so hard for a lie. Even if it isn't true that I am a Giese. It is still true that I spent time among them and that I cared and perhaps still do. But, I seem to bring nothing but trouble to anything I touch.
It wasn't that day at all but the day I first met Kieran that came into my mind. Kieran being Kyrell's oldest son or at least the oldest that I know of. It very well might be he has others out there that we have yet to know about or those that have died or passed away. For all purposes though he was the oldest and would take his father's place as the Giese clan head. His father had instilled in his the same value of family first that he went by and his step mother had instilled a sense of kindness in him that he sometimes likes to hide. However, we won't tell him that I said so.
I was actually sitting in the attic of the house, having made myself a rather cozy little hidey hole up there. A place to go when having too many people fuse over me became too much of just to be alone with my thoughts. My best friend the spider had spun a few webs for as he put it decoration though I was pretty sure just because he was hungry but he knew that even while I knew things had to eat I still couldn't help feel bad for the food. Yes, I was a pretty silly little girl at times. It was here sitting on the dust that I first met my older brother and the man for all purposes who raised me for about ten years.
I don't remember hearing him come up the stairs. I only remember that I was sitting there trying to draw something that I must admit I rather suck at to this day. Still I wanted to try and I had papers scattered across the floor and crayons everywhere. When I suddenly saw a pair of black boots. I jumped up so fast that I tripped over the papers and slide right into his waist as I looked up taking in the white shirt, the board chest, all the way up to the man who was looking down at me his blue eyes tinkling with amusement. "Well, it isn't every day I have a cute little girl fall for me. Literally."
As if I hadn't wanted to die of fright to begin with. I quickly made sure my illusions were in place because I was quite sure he wouldn't say I was cute if he could see them. No, he would run in horror if he could see the truth. Instead, I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Get out!" Okay, so I wasn't the most polite but this was my place.
He glanced down at me for a moment as he came down to my level. "Now why would I do that I came to find my sister? Have you seen her? I bet that is her over there?" He pointed towards my spider the same look of amusement on his face.
I frowned at his words. "Don't be silly he is a boy. Can't you see that?" I wasn't sure who his sister was but I was quite sure that she wasn't in my hidey hole. The stupid witch had nothing better to do than interrupt me when I was trying to make bad art. "Who are you anyways? If you don't leave my daddy well...he will grind you up for moon dust."
Kieran raised an eyebrow at me and made a bow. "I am so sorry. No one ever taught me how to tell male spiders from females. Your father is it? Who might that be?"
I decided he was being a pain so I ignored his statement about the spiders and decided to focus on the other. "Kyrell Giese."
"Oh? That would mean you are my sister?" He made another bow. "Good day. Dear sister."
I stared at him and opened and closed my mouth unsure of what to say as to that. "Well...I see." I was suddenly feeling strangely shy. I wanted my new family to like me. So, I moved back and forth before I finally managed to ask. "Why did you come?"
He reached into his bag and pulled out a package as he held it out to me. "Because I wanted to meet you and to give you a gift. Father said you were happy about the arrangements so I thought maybe I could help with that."
I took the package and stared at it for the longest time. I didn't really get presents and this one was so prettily wrapped I wasn't sure if I wanted to open it. But, my own curiosity got the best of me as I opened it carefully and inside found what looked like a brown music box. I looked up as I opened it and upon opening it, an image appeared. The image was of my father and Kieran as Kyrell explained to him about me and why he had decided to keep me apart. Kieran and him had argued but in the end it was clear it hurt them both and that they decided to keep me safe it was best. The scene had played out in front of me as I looked up at him confused. "What is it?"
"It is a memory box. You can take a memory and put it there for someone to see or for you to replay at a later date. It makes a copy of it. If you choose you can forget something and instead of copying you can take it. But, for our purposes it is something different. I had been told you wanted to stay with us. I would let you. It is just father is right. You are in danger and this keeps you safe. However, you can take the memories of the things we do together and play them again when you are alone. It will remind you that no matter where you are we are family and no matter what we are with you." He said as he pulled me into a hug.
My whole body tensed but I understood as I clutched the box against me. There were times I didn't understand. Times it made me so mad I could just scream. But, at that moment I did understand. And the box was one of my greatest treasures. I used it time and time again over the years. And whenever I felt really sad I would bring it out and remember the happier times. But, now I was giving it to another. Someone who had touched my life that day and forever.
It was this that had brought me to my brother Kieran's room. For all purposes perhaps my father in some ways. He had seen the scars and cut away the dead flesh that had grown from my skin more times than I could count. Held me when I was in so much pain I thought I might die and come to my side more times than I could mention. He had made me laugh, made me cry, but most of all held my hand when I needed. And I had all these memories that I had placed inside the box. The box that I now placed on the table. The box was a bit worn with age but it still worked. If I was leaving I wanted him to have something. Something to remember the past and to remember that I loved him. I still loved him even if so many things had I changed. I placed the box down next to his bed. I knew he would find it there and I wrote to words on a piece of paper next to it. "To remember." And with that I stepped back into shadows and disappeared.