There was a story that my brother Cole and I used to love when we were small. There were so many but this was one that we used to make Kieran read time and time again much to his annoyance. Though, he never really said it out loud. It was more in the way he looked at us when we came running to him with it. The look that said does it have to be that one again. We would sit on the floor with our blankets wrapped around us, sitting next to each other as Kieran would sit in the chair and read. As we waited with baited breaths for the story to begin as if we moved somehow the story wouldn't come.
The story was about a little boy and girl, who we liked to liken to ourselves, who had lost their mother while out gathering berries in the woods. I imagine that most cultures have some sort of version of the story about being lost and alone and trying to find their way home. I think I liked to think of the mother who wandered the woods looking so hard for her children as the mother I wanted. The one that would do anything to protect her children. Funny how back then I had no real idea what that meant and learned that sometimes protection can be a rather screwed up thing in the mind of the wrong person.
It had been in the case of the woman who had raised me. Catalina was about as crazy as they came. A few screws lose in her mind, yet in her own way she tried to protect me. Sure, it ended up hurting me but still. She had tried. The mother in the story had wandered the forest calling out their names. She had realized that their were missing in the story when she came to call for them for dinner. Fearing the worst she went out to look for them. She had rushed out into the woods as she grabbed the lantern from her house, forgetting to grab anything to light it with. She realized when she was out there unsure of what to do she left it behind.
I used to have one in my room as a child. Catalina had given it to me so I could have my own light. It ran on a spell that was inside that made it light when I turned it. And it was this same one that I placed on the table. In her own way she had tried to protect me but she had failed just like the mother in the story had tried to go after her children but she had failed. I left it there. I knew she would find it and understand why I had left it. Cat was a light that needed someone else to turn her on. She had never believed in her own power. And as such she had let her light be turned on by another and that had been Bryce. Bryce had done his best but he too had been broken. And so like that lamp in the story it failed to light. Or perhaps it only lit in the right places and for the right person. I honestly believed that Bryce could be that for her if he didn't doubt himself just a little bit as well.
The mother wandered the woods with her shawl pulled tight across her. It was cold and she feared for her children out there. Meanwhile, the kids had found their way to the lake where they took shelter inside a cave unable to find their way home. They had nothing with them just the clothes on their backs and they huddled together. We had found a diary Cole and I of his mother's. And it spoke of her childhood and the death of her sister, Anya. Anya who had been been sent into the cold along with her and Anya hadn't survived. It would turn out to be much more complex than that. But, that is besides the point. Cole was so afraid to show anyone the diary for fear that they would take it from him.
So, the two of us would take turns reading from it. He asked me to hold on to it because daddy always found his puppies and he might find this too. I knew that daddy would never take it from him. But, I also knew why he trusted me. We always kept the secrets that counted. We were family. I walked into Ansley's room and placed it on her side of the bed. It was hers and I knew she should have it back. It had brought my brother comfort when he was a child. He would read stories from it and it made him feel like he knew the mother, that he could barely recall. She had been such a bright, shining, person that most people seemed to have loved her. I wrote a small note: This brought your son hours of peace. But, now I feel that I should return it. Ask him about it.
I moved further down the room towards Dahlia's room. I paused at the door. She was the mother I never had. She would have been a good mother I believed that. But, I had been taken from her. I once found a brush that Catalina had of hers and she let me have it. The funny thing was I would pretend she was my mother. I thought that if I had been born to her I might have had a better life. When I found out I was her daughter I felt cheated but at the same time glad because I wouldn't be who I was if not for that. I put the brush on the dresser as I took a deep sigh. If I had been hers she might have brushed my hair with it.
My mind wandered back to the story as I moved out of the estate. The mother had wandered forever in the cold before she had died. However, she would never give up looking for her kids. They both fell asleep in the cave so close together as they thought they would die there. Their mother who continued to search as a ghost, a bright spirit calling out into the night finally found them. She came to them as she tried to pull them out. They were afraid. Unsure, what to do she decided to break herself up as she gave up her soul, breaking it into small pieces that floating out into the lake. The specks hit the rocks making them glow. These rocks would become what we call witch stones. The stones glow in the dark and according to legend can be used to light one's way home.
The kids saw the glowing rocks and they picked on up, leaving the rest for others who got lost to find. They followed the glow of the rock home to their house where they found their father, who had returned from searching for his family. He had only found the body of his wife. When they told him the story he knew that his wife had given up her chance to return to the goddess to look after their children. However, a part of her remains behind to help all lost souls find their way home in the witch stones that can only be found one place in all our world.
I opened the door to Amelie's room as I walked inside. I had placed on her dresser a witch stone and a a story book. Without the reference the stone alone would mean nothing. She had once told me that she felt lost. I think perhaps she is lost just like daddy by the past. Perhaps, with a bit of light she can find her way home as well. I took a deep breath as I looked around the room and walked out the door. I had given so many gifts. I had left things behind for everyone. Some with memories and others just a brief present and nothing more. But, now there was only one more person to say goodbye. And this was going to be the hardest of all.